Sorting

i really need to sort a few things inside my head. to relieve unbearable feelings inside. as days passed by, there were so many things i wish i didn't do. or even can it be undone, or backspace it to moralize myself.

i'm craving for new shoe. yezza. i just got my salary few days back, so i dont spent much on the last raya.i've been eyeing this one particular shoe, i pay two times visit to look for it. to me, it is something i cant resist, but it is a big doubt whether im going to use it or not. im not working in corprate world, i dont meet clients, im just a workholic person who seat in front of hell computers doing programming,testing and answering a lot of phone calls perday to resolve production issues. that keep bothering me, to buy or not to buy. buying meaning satisfying my own desire. but will i use it?? its too fancy for a person like me..

i want something like this.



but i used to wear this.

so thus i need a new handbag.. i've been using my jeans handbag for about 1 year already. to me its perfect, and served me well enuff.. not even one tiny little benang pun tercabut.. so that makes me have no more reason to buy new handbag. BUT,people always make an excuse to pass thru. so am i. there was one day, one salesboy look at me with unaffordable-weirdo-f**king look when i usha handbags..he even menjeling when i belek-belek the handbags dekat Isetan...serious shit, that puts my blood up to siling, and i went off teros. I dont want his pity look on me menguasai and membuatkan aku membeli handbag yang aku tanak pun, but to prove that i can afford aku beli. this has happened few times. at the end i regret. so let them be with their arrogant, aku tak peduli. i will only buy things i want.

oh ya, before i went off, aku sempat bercakap dengan kuat nya pada MF " dia ingat kita tak mampu ke?" . kasik mamat tu dengar sikitlah kan.

i do think this jerk should behave more. you are salesperson, why dont you act like one. kenapa nak usha-usha orang macam tu. and dont even judge people by their simple tshirt and jeans appearance. kadang-kadang orang macam ni banyak jugak duit. bukan tak berkemampuan.sigh.and i dont really like nagging salesperson as well. there's one ariani branch punya salesperson. dok follow mana aku pegi, then sebok nak tunjuk itu ini. aku tak sempat tengok lagi dak tunjuk yang lain. just let me be okay, if im interested aku bagitau mana satu aku berkenan... kan senang...

10 days straight stayed at home,has caused me so much weight gaining.mum's cook, ayah's mee goreng, Wan's curry is something i cant disregard.sedapnya mak datuk... macam mana nak tahan.tsk.tsk.so i turn up at Mary Chia again last thurday, hoping for some treatment. memang kena bebellah aku dekat situ.inconsistent datang, main datang ikut sedap hati. tahun ni baru tiga kali datang.huhu...my weight dah naik banyak compare to the last treatment...so they offer me new treatment with one promise, give them 3 months to make it reality.wahhh...aku pun apa lagi. seronoklah dengarkan, 3 bulan bole kurus...hehe...so now i undergo diet program for 1 month, and will be back to Mary Chia this coming 31 Oct to continue the treatment. will share with you apa-apa nanti. =)

even tho Hari Raya is a big bermaafan day,i still unable to clear out things inside my heart.sigh. even i always trust memaafkan orang tu bukan untuk dia, but for your own sake. to heal is to forgive.but hard to apply, indeed.

with rasa rendah diri, saya menyusun jari memohon maaf kalau-kalau ada rakan-rakan yang tersinggung dengan saya. selamat hari raya.

having more than 1 blog, i feel like combining it together NOWWW, so that i have one medium of communication with everybody. takdelah rajin sangat nak update pun kan...

told ya, i really need to sort things inside my head.